What a two weeks this Recovering a Sense of Safety has been. Almost at the end of it now, and over the course of this week I found myself focusing almost solely on what 'creative self worth' and 'safety' means to me.
More than anything I've really come to understand how the power in both of those phrases sits 100% with me. It's been too easy for me to hand that over to external sources, expecting these to validate me and 'give' me a sense of creative self-worth and provide the parameters that make creation feel safe. Honestly I think I've done the work I came here to do and I'm okay now and done with the programme.
.
.
.
Jokes.
Here's to week 2.
Oh, incidentally, watched Avatar 2 in IMAX 3D with LAZERS this morning and WOW I am just ... wow ... cinematic brilliance ... bowled over ... watching again
I love this dahlia picture! Thank you for setting this up, Tanya and for your generous sharing and inspiration.
Growing up in a family of progressive, creative people, there was no lack of encouragement for unique expression. It was more about seeing things through. When it comes to the critic, the barriers are that, and the feeling of not having the capacity. But it nourishes me, and it’s important, so...
While there are arguably some pragmatic time and energy limitations, and there is more there to question too, there are also the HOURS. Hours and hours – it is embarrassing how many hours - I spend scrolling on the phone which is enemy nr 1 of creativity, so much of the week’s pages have been around exploring that, including the need for zoning out it fulfils and finding positive affirmations around it. What emerged was the concept of “deliberate discernment”, which feels like an active, dynamic form of mindfulness and looks like a good fit as an awareness practice for me and a catch all for a lot of what stops me from being more creative. “I am discerning and deliberate with my attention”.
There were more fun, unexpected things, like finding a voice of God, or higher self, etc., which shows up amidst a feeling of effervescent mirth at times and says things like, “keep going, but let go of the wheel” … wild! It made me laugh. Also “Your play is holy work.” 😊 !!!
I totally get the social media scrolling and LOVE the "deliberate discernment". I started with something like this one morning in 2015 I think when I lay in bed raging at something a stranger had tweeted. I'd been awake for 5 minutes and this stranger and their issues were now in my bed and dictating my feelings! My god. That was the day I took twitter and facebook off my phone. But not instagram. *That* is a blackhole of time and creative suck. Especially the new feeds. "The need to zone out" yeah ... also, in my case, and *this* is an ugly reality, comparing. Like, actively comparing: going to see who got what so I can make myself feel bad about it. I mean, wut? Luckily that is coming to a slow stop as I start owning my stuff around this creative sludge bit here.
What a two weeks this Recovering a Sense of Safety has been. Almost at the end of it now, and over the course of this week I found myself focusing almost solely on what 'creative self worth' and 'safety' means to me.
More than anything I've really come to understand how the power in both of those phrases sits 100% with me. It's been too easy for me to hand that over to external sources, expecting these to validate me and 'give' me a sense of creative self-worth and provide the parameters that make creation feel safe. Honestly I think I've done the work I came here to do and I'm okay now and done with the programme.
.
.
.
Jokes.
Here's to week 2.
Oh, incidentally, watched Avatar 2 in IMAX 3D with LAZERS this morning and WOW I am just ... wow ... cinematic brilliance ... bowled over ... watching again
P.s., I also loved that whole bit about audacity.
It really just went PING PING PING PING
Hi!
I love this dahlia picture! Thank you for setting this up, Tanya and for your generous sharing and inspiration.
Growing up in a family of progressive, creative people, there was no lack of encouragement for unique expression. It was more about seeing things through. When it comes to the critic, the barriers are that, and the feeling of not having the capacity. But it nourishes me, and it’s important, so...
While there are arguably some pragmatic time and energy limitations, and there is more there to question too, there are also the HOURS. Hours and hours – it is embarrassing how many hours - I spend scrolling on the phone which is enemy nr 1 of creativity, so much of the week’s pages have been around exploring that, including the need for zoning out it fulfils and finding positive affirmations around it. What emerged was the concept of “deliberate discernment”, which feels like an active, dynamic form of mindfulness and looks like a good fit as an awareness practice for me and a catch all for a lot of what stops me from being more creative. “I am discerning and deliberate with my attention”.
There were more fun, unexpected things, like finding a voice of God, or higher self, etc., which shows up amidst a feeling of effervescent mirth at times and says things like, “keep going, but let go of the wheel” … wild! It made me laugh. Also “Your play is holy work.” 😊 !!!
I totally get the social media scrolling and LOVE the "deliberate discernment". I started with something like this one morning in 2015 I think when I lay in bed raging at something a stranger had tweeted. I'd been awake for 5 minutes and this stranger and their issues were now in my bed and dictating my feelings! My god. That was the day I took twitter and facebook off my phone. But not instagram. *That* is a blackhole of time and creative suck. Especially the new feeds. "The need to zone out" yeah ... also, in my case, and *this* is an ugly reality, comparing. Like, actively comparing: going to see who got what so I can make myself feel bad about it. I mean, wut? Luckily that is coming to a slow stop as I start owning my stuff around this creative sludge bit here.