Feb 11·edited Feb 12Liked by Tanya Meeson

...one of my favourites too, thank you for asking so that I just re-read it.

I am addicted to fantasy - Fantasy and Sci-Fi to be exact. If I'm not scrolling through social media in my down time I am watching or reading one of the two and lately also conversing with the now infamous chat AI about the nature of life, the universe and everything else, which is a tremendously fun and compelling diversion for me.

Like overeating as an addiction, it's obviously not eating that is a problem, or even the quality of what I eat, which is good and these are all well made works of art I am immersing myself in, it is the quantity and the timing and the reason.

If I am filling every moment with magnificent "diversion", I am obviously also avoiding feeling something or other and the casualty is creativity... creating.

I am doing AW because I wish to create, no, need to create, not merely consume.

This line stands out "She stood it by standing knee deep in life and paying close attention."

Doing that is a doorway into creating for me - paying attention to...

the lace curtain moving in the breeze,

embroidered with paisley that looks like happily wafting vaginas since that time on mushrooms

my mother's minor key wind chimes

thoughts of the haunting sound and how my friend suggested that she haunts me via my dreams

and to my sweetheart, feet up on the couch

kindly and wisely listening to the verboten pop on headphones

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Feb 7Liked by Tanya Meeson

Yes yes yes, I love this and what follows:

"From the start of this course, it’s become increasingly clear that my mission for this journey is to get centred, withdraw my power from the past and opinions of others, pull it back inwards, away from the distraction of fantasy and choas, so that I can finally ‘let it rip’, as Cameron says, and feel the pure power of creating, the joy of it, the satisfaction of it." ...

It feels pivotal, like a place of power. Yee haaa on the Literary Festival, Tanya!

I have also felt swallowed by the new year and haven't been consistent with the pages, but I am still at it in a broader sense. I am having richer dreams, richer conversations with my inner child who turns out, is really happy. I have become a good parent.

Something I did notice is that I don't enjoy the feeling of vomiting all my obsessive fear loop thoughts onto the page at the start of the day... it makes for a shitty tone for the rest of the day. What feels good and inspires me to be most creative is gratitude as twee as that sounds... paragraphs of gratitude for the fur on my cat's stomach, the wealth of leaves in my garden, the fruitful efforts of my youngrr self.

I have had two artist's dates - one to a haven set up purely for cats where you can just go and hang out with them, and the other a visit to one of my favourite artworks ... a beach sculpture made by everyone and no-one on the far west side of strand beach and a swim in the sea.

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